2 Day Diet Pills

Jennifer May 27th, 2010

Okay. I’m a pretty strange person when it comes to self-esteem.

I can be the most conceited person you know, and then turn right back around and have the lowest self-esteem. Especially when it’s about my weight.

I’ll admit: I’m not the thinnest person, but I’m not the fattest, either. I’m physically fit by Military standards. I can do push-ups, sit-ups, run a 1.5 miles without stopping, tread water without hands for 10+ minutes….

But here’s my issue.

I’ve been running a lot lately to try and get my legs smaller and my core toned. I also have dance class 3 nights a week. I don’t have nearly as much cellulite in my legs, my ribs are more noticeable, and I’m starting to see the muscle line down my legs.

Well, all I ask for is some support when I’m doing my regimen. I noticed the change for the first time yesterday. I was excited and went to show my mum. I even had her feel the muscle that’s almost completely solid in the back of my leg without flexing.

You know what she did?

She poked my leg, saying that it still jiggles. Then she flexed her leg and then began poking at her leg, saying, "See? Mine doesn’t jiggle at all."

I mean, that hurts. Especially when it comes from your own mother. I’ve tried to much to lose weight and when I am, I receive NO encouragement from her whatsoever. Sine 7th grade my mum’s put me on diets (I’m a college freshman, now).

Because of all the crash dieting before I reached maturity, I screwed up my body where I CONSTANTLY struggle to lose weight. Even though I’m fit, I don’t look it; other than the fact my stomach’s almost flat. From below the waist? Not so much.

Not once, even when I was small (which, at the time, I didn’t think I was until I was looking back at pictures of me from years ago) and when on diets, my mum never ONCE said that I didn’t need to.

All I ask for is support, you know? But I’m always on my own. Even my oldest brother (who I’ve disowned for other reasons) would call me a fat-ass. Any time him or someone else ate something, he would always say it was me.

I don’t eat all the time.

I consume a MAXIMUM of 1600 calories a day.

But what do I do? How can I push myself to keep going when no one ever seems to take notice? Especially my own mum? I mean, my mum IS a twig. She’s 5′10 and weighs 135 lbs.

But I don’t feel like I can keep trying if I never get even so much as "You’ve slimmed down" or "You’re looking good".

I just want some encouragement from people I know.

Please just help me.

It’s getting bad. For a while (about a month or so), I didn’t even eat. I had coffee to take care of my eating urges. I dropped 20 lbs and STILL no one said anything.

I just want to get back to a size 8. I’m a size 12 now, down from a 14. And you know what? No one ever said anything when I dropped that weight.

This is really pulling down on my self-esteem. I just want to drop 2 more sizes before I go to Japan next summer.

Please help me and tell me what to do!!
Uh…college freshman, people. 18. :3

• 2 Day Diet Pills
• Comments(3)